Our world has constantly been changing over time since the beginning. Nothing remains the same for long, it seems; everything either evolves into something greater or newer or different in today’s world. But some things for us Christians will never change and never be different because we serve a God who does not change. Our God has even given us his word which also does not change. His word should be our compass in this lost world, giving us direction in the right and wrong choices and in the moral and immoral decisions we face each day. The world has done everything in its power to teach us to live according to our sinful desires/heart rather than by our Lord’s words. I am writing this article because I feel this is another area in our life that we are led by our feelings and by what the world has told us rather than by God. My hope is that we would truly seek out what God has to say about all things and live them out as best as we can in our lives.

Roles in the Family

For Adam was formed first, then Eve; 1 Timothy 2:13

Let us start with the Creation of man and woman, along with the design of marriage through the lens of Complementarianism. We know that God created both man and woman in His image giving them both equally the same value. From the get go, we see God placing leadership and accountability on man before woman was formed. Man was tasked to work the ground, to name the animals and above all he was forbidden to eat from the tree of good and evil. But out of all the task man was given to do he was found without a helper suited for him. So God created woman out of man so that he might finally have a helper fit for him. Now it is important to remember the order of creation as well as the roles that were given at creation. God had distinct roles and responsibility for both man and woman. After the fall God explained to both Adam and Eve what damage each others roles had taken after the fall. God told Eve “your desire shall be contrary to your husband, but he shall rule over you“. Sin didn’t destroy the roles that they were given however it did make it much harder to fulfill them. Once sin entered the world it brought division between man and woman in the form of roles not value. Nevertheless we are still called to submit to the responsibility of which God has tasked us with. When it comes to family, men and women have been called to different roles, not of opposition but of roles that complement each other. We see from the beginning that man was tasked with ruling over/being the head of the family, while woman was tasked with being a helper to man. Now most people that get offended over this view have problems with two things, first that man is the sole ruler and second that the role of helper seems to be one of lesser value. If you have a problem with the first one, its because you have a problem with how God created man and gave them established roles. God states it very clearly “For Adam was formed first, then Eve” and He reaffirms it many times “For the husband is the head of the wife”. Tell me this is a bridge able to function with out its supports/bracing? What makes you think that a man can function with out a women/helper? God knew he couldn’t hence why he created a helper fit for him. God said “It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him.”.

Image Someone building a wooden deck for their house while using nails to secure the wood to the frame. You see them tirelessly hammering those nails away with a wrench, tell me if you think the builder knows what he is doing? Who in their right mind would use a tool that was meant for bolts as a hammer for nails? That was never the design nor the purpose of that tool, the job will not be completed in a timely manner nor the right way. The same could be said for a builder that uses hammer to drive bolts into a metal frame, it would not work and probably would cause more damage than good. Now take a builder who uses both tools properly how they were designed. He can build anything because he is not misusing the tool and both tools are able to complete the job together. The tools share equal value but have different roles.

“Nature teaches us that ‘man’ and ‘woman’ are real categories and not social constructs.”

“Apart from grace, nature will become cruel. Yet grace does not abolish nature, but rather restores it.”

Steven Wedgeworth

Roles in the church

But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God. 1 Corinthians 11:3

Here we can start to talk about the structure and design behind the Church from the viewpoint of Complementarianism. When we start to dive into how God uses men and women in the Church, we see similar roles as the Family structure in the Church. We can start with Christ’s earthly ministry in how he called the twelve disciples, which happened to be all men. Then how those same disciples along with apostles started to plant Churches where they instructed the men in how to lead and teach (2 Tim 2:2). Setting up the qualifications for Elders/Overseers to be the “Husband of one wife” (Titus 1:5-6) therefore excluding women from those two roles in the Church. We know that our Pastors must also meet those same qualifications as well (Titus 1:9). And if there is still any doubt about the office of Pastor of the Church, Paul clears that up in saying that “women are not allowed to Teach or Exercise authority over Man” (1 Tim 2:12-14). That leads us to the following question, what are women’s roles in the Church then? Paul knew his listeners were going to ask about this so he was prepared to give this answer (Titus 2:3-4). Paul says they are to teach what is good, to younger women and children that are among the Church body. And what does Paul mention that is good for women to teach “to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands” (Titus 2:4-5). These are very important and crucial things to be taught for a Church to remain healthy. The Church cannot preach the Gospel well (if not at all) if all the women reject the role which God bestowed upon man in the family and church. Likewise, teaching the children the gospel and to respect and honor their parents is a very high calling, one which brings much glory to God, hinting one of the reasons why He designed it like that. It is very crucial that both men and women play out their roles based upon God’s design for them. However, some liberal Christians and people around the world strongly disagree with this view. But we must serve God rather than man and must live according to his Will and Design for men and women among the Church and Family.

I do not permit a woman to teach or to exercise authority over a man; rather, she is to remain quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve; and Adam was not deceived, but the woman was deceived and became a transgressor. 1 Tim 2:12-14

This is why I left you in Crete, so that you might put what remained into order, and appoint elders in every town as I directed you— if anyone is above reproach, the husband of one wife. Titus 1:5-6

The biblical teaching about men and women is clear with respect to the home and the church but less clear with respect to the larger society. In other words, the Bible’s explicit instructions are about how to order the home and the church. There is much less specificity about how to order the culture. Nevertheless, the creation order implies that men will be leaders.

Albert Mohler

Egalitarian View & Arguments against Complementarianism View

People who have issues Complementarianism usually find it in the fact that women are not allowed to have the same roles as men. One aspect of this would be would be who leads in marriage. Either they believe a strong women can lead or that they should share the role, both fail to meet the biblical design. Another area we disagree on is the role of pastor, how God designed it for men alone. Usually the ones who disagree with Complementarianism tend to be feminist or have a liberal leaning theology view. Those who reject complementarian view usually find themselves among those who hold more to a Egalitarian view. This view would say men and women are equal in almost everything and all roles should be shared between both genders. This is how we find the world leaning towards the idea that biological males can compete in female sports. However by naturally observing this we come to realize that it generally isn’t fair for females to be compared to males. Why is this, maybe because we have been designed differently and have different attributes that complement each other. Rather than comparing one another, we should be building each other up in the design that God had intended for us. None of what i have been saying is hateful towards either gender, I am simply trying to share the truth which is found in the Bible. I believe that God design many roles for women such as being a wife, mother, care taker, teacher and even a worker. However I strongly hold to the belief that men alone are to be the provider, protector, preacher and leader in the family and church. Below are some quotes from egalitarians and reasons why women might not have been allowed in history to have the same role.

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, Titus 2:3

Let me be blunt. When you functionally treat complementarianism—a doctrine of MAN—as if it belongs among the matters of 1st importance, yea, as a litmus test for where one stands on inerrancy & authority of Scripture, you are the ones who have misused Scripture. You went too far.

Beth Moore

I am not enough of a theologian to debate this problem fully. All I know is that God has always used—and still does use—women as leaders and teachers, preachers, ministers, missionaries, authors, evangelists, prophets, and so on.

Joyce Meyer

Women were Not Educated. While this statement might be true in ways about both men and women in the church, the Bible nowhere requires formal education as a prerequisite to teaching in the church. Education back then was not like it is today, but nonetheless, it did not divide people based on their education level.

Wives Shouldn’t Teach or Have Authority Over Their Own Husbands. Some people have argued that Paul is only prohibiting women from teaching or exercising authority over their own husbands which would have been in the congregation. However there is no evidence that this passage is speaking about anything other than Church leadership. The context of these verses is a pastoral epistle in which Paul is explaining proper conduct within the churches, not marriages.

A Temporary Command This is one of the most popular argument against any scripture that prohibits women from teaching in the church. They write it off by saying it was only meant for that church or only for that generation. While in every context it has been used, it has been about setting up the universal church.

Nobody Forbids Jewelry or Braids. They also argue that since jewelry and braids are no longer banned that neither should women be banned from teaching. But the argument was never about banning jewelry or braids, it was truly about women adorning themselves with godliness rather than fancy attire. Which this should still be up held even today by women in the Church.

Guys, I could go on and on about this diving deeper on the subject or even making it a hour long article. However most of the things I write on here are just short and easy to understand thoughts on matters such as this. I hope this article has been useful to you. My desire is for everyone to have a healthy understanding of masculine and feminine roles from a Biblical perspective.

Thoughts In The Light Of Eternity

• Complementarianism
• Unnatural Desire
• Racism In Light Of The Gospel
• Vaccine Mandate
• Life Transformation

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