What is Family Worship? One could give many different answers, ranging anywhere from a glorified Bible study to a praise sing-along. Some of us might be more familiar with the term, while others are complete strangers to it. To answer what it is and is not, we must first seek to define what the family consists of and what worship is, as well as how these two can become one. Family worship, or the concept of it, is nothing new; it has been practiced since the beginning. We find it, however, to be largely lost among the believing community of our time. My hope is that we might retrieve the lost art of Family Worship and bring about a revival from our families outward to the nations.
“A well-ordered family is a nursery for the church and a blessing to the commonwealth.” – Cotton Mather
The Institution of the Family
In order to find out what family worship is, we must start by defining what a family is. Today, our culture has sought to confuse and even destroy the true nature and original design of the family. This has all occurred due to the fall and the schemes of Satan to pollute the very good that God has created. Our culture has chipped in and helped out in the many forms of destroying marriage and promoting individualism over the health of the society of the local family. We have seen this take place in the act of legalizing homosexual marriages and promoting such relationships as a genuine good and healthy thing rather than speaking the truth against them. We have seen the trend of many marriages starting much later in life due to the cultural idea of sowing your wild oats while you are still young and free; that marriage is nothing more than a limitation to the joy of youthfulness. We have promoted feminism, which has done nothing but teach our young women to pursue that which the world teaches as success. Raising a family and being a homemaker is regarded as a less satisfying job and, quite honestly, beneath a strong, independent woman. Our society has done everything in its power to encourage the hookup and playboy mentality. We have such a horrible marriage success rate due to such failures as a cultural phenomenon and a high divorce rate resulting from lax laws pertaining to marriage. All this to say, that we have lost the high and pure view of what the family is. We have failed to protect it and to honor God with the gift of it.
1. Marriage
“Marriage is a school wherein men and women are trained up for heaven.” – Thomas Gataker
In the beginning, God created all things good. Yet, God noticed one thing which was not good: namely, “It is not good that the man should be alone.” Hence, God created woman for man1. We see first that being alone was not good for man and that man needed a helper fit for him. The design for this relationship was to become one flesh2 and to multiply3. Notice the design was intended for one man and one woman to become one flesh, which would condemn polygamy. Now, yes, there are many accounts of polygamy throughout the Bible; however, God never promotes nor encourages it—it is always sinful. Also, notice that the second purpose is to multiply, which both purposes would condemn homosexual relationships. While not all couples might be able to naturally bear children due to a fallen and damaged world, sadly, this does not encourage us to neglect the original purpose while promoting sinful behavior.
Now, within the relationship of marriage, you have the head and the helper. It is important for the health of the marriage and family that the roles remain in their original design. As Christ is the head of the Church, so man is the head of the wife and family4. For Adam was created first, and he was created with this design. It is sinful to reverse the roles, and doing so will cause destruction within the marriage and family. Wives are to submit to their husbands5, and husbands are to love their wives6. If either one of them neglects these duties, the marriage will become unbalanced. Lest we think we know better than God.
“The best marriage is that wherein man and wife are mutual helpers of each other’s souls.” – William Gouge
Like all things, marriage is meant to glorify God, for that is the end goal7. It models this in a few different ways: first, it displays the relationship that Jesus Christ (the groom) and the Church (the bride) share; second, it is meant for the advancement of the Kingdom through faithful generational growth; and third, it is meant for our sanctification and growth in our relationship with Christ, as it reveals more of our sin and encourages us to rely more on our need for Him as we grow towards Heaven.
2. Children
“Parents should look upon their children as arrows put into their hands, which they must shoot toward heaven.” – Thomas Watson
While marriage is the beginning of the family, children are the completion of it. Children are the natural continuation of the family and the fruit of marriage. The whole purpose behind raising children is the advancement of the Kingdom of God. However, because of the fall, sin has interrupted this duty and caused many pains in the area of child-rearing. Sometimes couples are unable to have children for various reasons, or the death of infants occurs, or our culture teaches us that children are nothing more than burdens to the marriage and the happiness of the couple. Whatever the case may be, God has made a way to overcome such hurdles. Couples can adopt children, foster children, and raise or disciple children spiritually. Now note, we do not promote nor approve of IVF for many reasons, but we will not discuss that here.
Now, the main way we go about growing the kingdom of God, besides just plainly multiplying, is by raising sons and daughters in the “fear and admonition of the Lord”8. As parents, we have been gifted children not to seek our own self-gratification, but rather to serve the Lord with them. We are to steward the gift of child-rearing, and what better way to do this than by teaching them who God is—not only who He is, but also His commands and His will—how to serve Him in all areas of life, seeking His pleasure and blessing. Dr. Martyn Lloyd-Jones once said, “When the child comes, we must say to ourselves, ‘We are the guardians and the custodians of this soul.'” Rightly so, we have a high and great responsibility to honor the Lord and guide our children’s souls to heaven. Ultimately, only God determines who is called to heaven and who isn’t, but this does not take away the responsibility of the parent’s role in being the means through which God ministers to their souls.
Just as the civil government is meant to promote that which is good and punish that which is wrong, so is the job of the parent. The parents, as the governing heads of the family, are to encourage righteousness and punish that which is sin. This comes in the form of teaching God’s word and statutes while also disciplining them with the rod for the purpose of correction and guidance. No parent does this perfectly; however, that is not a cop-out for avoiding or neglecting either the teaching or the correction responsibilities we have. We, as parents, are simply to be little shepherds of our children while ultimately trying to model our great shepherd, Jesus Christ, to them.
“The chief care and duty of parents is to bring up their children in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” – John Owen
“In business and in professions, men are well aware of the great responsibility that rests upon them in the decisions they have to take. But are they aware of the infinitely greater responsibility they bear with respect to their own children? Do they give even the same amount of thought and attention and time to it, not to say more? Does it weigh as heavily upon them as the responsibility that they feel in these other realms?” – Dr. Martyn Lloyd-Jones
Devotion and Thanksgiving of the Family
Now that we have a pretty clear and simple understanding of the design and purpose of the family, we must now direct our attention to the aspect of “worship.” Our main duty as individuals and as a whole family is to serve God through our worship of Him. This can take many different forms, but I would like to focus on four aspects of worship while applying them practically to the family, especially through Family Worship.
1. Thanksgiving
“Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” – 1 Thess. 5:18
We owe thanks to God for all things9, especially our family. Thanksgiving can be summed up in showing gratitude for all of God’s works. You don’t have to go far at all to find something to be thankful for; simply ask the question, What has God done? There you will find something to give thanks for. The opposite of gratitude is entitlement—the very mindset that God owes us a happy and healthy family. This leads to a more unhealthy view of self, one that robs all glory from God. Our families are a gift, during all times and under all circumstances, and we owe God all thanks and praise for them. We must realize that apart from God, we cannot provide for our families physically nor spiritually. Our families’ souls are fully dependent upon God’s mercy and surely His goodness towards us.
“Thanksgiving is a confession of our dependence upon God and a tribute due unto His goodness.” – Stephen Charnock
2. Praise
“Great is the Lord, and greatly to be praised, and his greatness is unsearchable.” – Psalm 145:3
Have you ever wondered why we should praise God? The best answer to this question is simply to follow it up with, Who is God? The Lord Almighty, creator of heaven and earth, who upholds all things through His sovereign hand. We have been given breath and every good thing from Him. I think back to Philippians 4:8, which states that we are to think about whatever is true, honorable, pure, lovely, commendable, excellent, and worthy of praise; surely God is the only one worthy of such praise. If such things are true, then we must recognize them not only in our personal lives but also in our social lives. There is no greater social life than that of the family, to admire God’s character and sing praises to Him. There is no better place to sing of His mighty deeds than that of the home. No better place than the home to read and teach the next generation about the mighty works of God. The home is to be a temple of praise daily unto the Lord.
“The Christian’s heart should be the altar where the fire of praise never goes out.” – William Gurnall
3. Devotion
“Present your bodies as a living sacrifice…” Romans 12:1
Next, we come to the thought of How should we respond to God? We have already addressed that we owe God thanksgiving and praise, but is that all we owe to Him? No, the Scriptures make it clear that our bodies are to be a living sacrifice to the Lord. Not only is it just the thought of our bodies, but also the idea of everything. All that we do incorporates our bodies as a whole. We find Paul’s words in his letter to the Corinthians, stating that “whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” We have a responsibility to serve God in all things. We have a duty to devote our lives to Him as a living sacrifice daily. How much more do we have the obligation to serve God with our families and to devote them solely to His will alone?
“The Christian’s whole life should be one continued act of walking with God.” – William Gurnall
4. Blessing
“Them that honour Me I will honour” (1 Samuel 2:30)
This brings us to the apex of the reason for family worship: that is, blessing. It is a special area to receive blessings from the Lord, but not only to receive them; it is also to be a blessing to others. Just think about how thanksgiving, praise, and devotion are merely the results of the Lord’s blessings toward us. Blessings produce a heart of thanksgiving, blessings reveal God’s character, leading us to praise Him, and blessings lead to a life of devotion. This is God’s favor expressed toward His covenant people. We have countless things to be thankful for and to sing the praises of the Lord, and the Lord has promised to continue to bless those who honor Him. And what better way to honor the Lord than to declare our family to be entirely devoted to serving Him all the days of our lives? Now, another aspect of blessings is the ability to bless others through our family worship. Think about the impact this can have on generational faithfulness: that God will always be present among our family, outwardly with all and hopefully inwardly as well, and that there should be no doubt about our purpose as a family. Consider the influence it would have on our church and society if we were faithfully raising godly sons and daughters to love, share, and live out the Gospel among others.
God blesses → His people give thanks → They praise His name → They devote themselves to Him → God continues to bless according to His covenant promises.
| Aspect | Focus | Primary Direction | Biblical Examples |
|---|---|---|---|
| Thanksgiving | God’s gifts and works | Gratitude | Psalm 107; Col. 3:15–17 |
| Praise | God’s character and glory | Adoration | Psalm 145; Revelation 4 |
| Devotion | Our whole life given to God | Consecration and obedience | Romans 12:1–2; Deut. 6:5 |
Conclusion
Our families originate from the natural design of marriage for the purpose of raising children in the fear and admonition of the Lord. It is a great grievance to distort or neglect the family’s original design, and an even greater grievance to neglect devoting our families to the worship of God. We are a covenant people who belong to our covenant-keeping God, and this covenant includes the family. As a family, we have a duty to acknowledge the blessings of God and to respond to them in thanksgiving, praise, and devotion. This is our form of worship to God, as thanksgiving is the soul’s grateful acknowledgment of God’s mercies. Praise is the soul’s admiration and exaltation of God’s excellencies. Devotion is the habitual surrender of the entire life to God’s glory. All of this is due to the blessing God has already bestowed upon us and is connected to the continuing future blessings from God. Our families are meant to be “nurseries for heaven.”
My hope in writing this is to bring the thought of family worship to the forefront of your minds, to stir up the desire to lead our families towards God. Whether you have never heard of this principle or if you have been practicing it for a multitude of years, may this article be an encouragement and reminder to you.
“But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord.” – Joshua 24:15
“The end of all relations is to help one another toward heaven.” – Thomas Watson
This is Part 1 of a multi mini series on Family Worship more soon to come!
- 1 Cor 11:8-9 ↩︎
- Gen 2:24 ↩︎
- Gen 1:28 ↩︎
- 1 Cor 11:3 ↩︎
- Col 3:18 ↩︎
- Col 3:19 ↩︎
- 1 Cor 10:31 ↩︎
- Eph 6:4 & Prov 22:6 ↩︎
- Eph 5:20 ↩︎
Leave a comment